I saw a rain dirtied valley

Oh man, Halloween is OVER and it feels good. I'm going to go watch Slither and make apple crisp. Or attempt to make apple crisp. When it comes right down to it, I have no idea what's going on with this apple crisp business. Every recipe I've found so far has been so wildly removed from the last that the only thing I'm really sure of is that there are apples and probably some sugar involved in the making. I think there needs to be an industry standard for apple crisp. Somebody should take Plato's theory of Forms and apply it to cooking, and then compile a book filled with standardized recipes for things like meatloaf and tater tot hot dish and apple crisp. The book should be really plain and industrial looking, too, like all black with "FOOD" in big white block letters on the cover, so people know it's not one of those funnin' around cookbooks. That book would mean business.

And also would tell me how to make apple crisp, that would be helpful right about now.