Just one key unlocks them both

I've developed a nasty tendency to put on my headphones, listen to whatever on my computer, then get up to walk away and clothesline myself because I'm still wearing the headphones. At least I've mostly stopped hitting my head on the beams under my loft, though. That would really suck to rip both of my ears off and permanently dent my skull in the same wacky accident.

And last night at work I had to chase down a horde of excited little kids on bikes and turn them into a horde of sullen little kids not on bikes. It took a while, because they tended to scatter as soon as they saw me coming, but for the most part they stayed off their bikes once I told them to knock it off. Not one kid, though. I caught him once, told him to get off the bike, watched him walk around the corner and hop right back on the bike, and then chased him down. I told him to get off the bike again, and he started to try to pedal away, so I grabbed the handlebars to stop him and that's when he glared at me and wailed "NOOOOOO!" and bared his teeth and lunged for my arm. GET OFF THAT BIKE RIGHT NOW, WHERE IS YOUR DAD. WE ARE GOING TO FIND YOUR DAD RIGHT NOW. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ACTUALLY JUST TRIED TO BITE ME.

I mean good grief. Catching rabies from some little rat kid on a bike has never been on my to-do list.