Slowly learning that life is OK

Geez, I couldn't believe how heavy the rain was coming down this morning. By the time I got to the bus stop I wondered why I even took a shower before leaving, because I was completely drenched. I had a steady stream of rain running off the tip of my nose. My penguin coat was still cold and sodden by the time I wore it home, which was absolutely marvelous in the cold wind, let me tell you. And I had Axl Rose shrieking mournfully in the back of my head the whole time.

Senior day once again. There's this one elderly customer who scares the daylights out of me. Not on purpose or anything, and I'm sure she's a very nice lady and all, but there's just something about her that strikes fear into my soul. She looks like she was constructed for battle, with a ferocious cast-iron body and an enormous, terrifying bosom like two armed torpedos. She kind of resembles one of those fertility goddess statues from ancient tribes where what a man really looked for in a woman was quantity, except she could also kill you with her bare hands and walk away through a brick wall as the rounds fired by responding officers richochet harmlessly off her massive, rock-hard bulk.

Of course, this is also coming from the girl who is afraid of windmills and routinely checks the toilet bowl before use to make sure Uncle Fester isn't in there (I had a dream once).

So, y'know.