They'll have to deal with YOU first

Ok, so my ears have been noticing November lately, and I decided it was time to do something about it. Earmuffs! How can I go wrong with earmuffs? They won't flatten my hair into funny shapes and will probably help hold my headphones in my ears. I can't possibly lose!

After a good five minutes spent wrestling with a particularly stubborn pair that kept rolling up and flipping out of my hands like greased soap made out of springs, I have come to a startling conclusion: I don't understand earmuffs at all. Nobody told me these things were so complicated! I mean, even after I get the things on my ears, which is no easy feat, where is the stupid band supposed to go? Over the top of my head? That looks dumb. Behind my head? If it's supposed to go over my head then THAT will look dumb. HELP.

Maybe I should start scanning the bus for people wearing earmuffs and keep track of how they are wearing them, then tabulate the results and wear accordingly, so as to avoid an earmuff faux pas through the power of science.

All hail Betsi, metro transit fashionista.