Keep on rockin' in the free world

I went to the Starbucks at the bus stop today and bought myself a tall peppermint double mocha to drink while I waited. There I was, leaning casually up against the wall at the stop, wearing sunglasses and my The cure t-shirt, the wind blowing my long black suede jacket to the side as I listened to my ipod. On my hands were the black marker X's that indicate to the world that I went to some snazzy little hipster concert last night, and in my hands were a starbucks coffee and a cell phone on which I was sending a text message. I looked around coolly, with an air of aloof detachment, and just as a small crowd of people started to cross the street over to my corner, I raised my drink to my lips...

...and spilled coffee all over my face and front because I am apparently too retarded to turn the cup so the hole in the lid aligns with my mouth.

Yeah, I'm cool.