I don't want to set the world on fire
Attn: everyone
I have had my first Crazy Person on the Bus encounter! I feel like I really live here now!
I was waiting at the Nicollet stop for the 2 to come whisk me away to the light rail when this tall, lanky guy comes beboppin' across the street. Every step he took was a kind of sauntering, bendy, Gumby-with-rickets sort of lope, and I could not figure out for the life of me if he was doing it on purpose or if he just wasn't very good at walking for some reason. He was also wearing the fascinatingly original ensemble of a black sportcoat over bleach spotted overalls, which is not a fashion statement I have encountered before or since. I'm seated on one end of the bench, he sits down on the other. But whatever, he's just another odd guy waiting for the bus. So we wait. After another ten minutes a few more people have collected around the stop and nothing much is going on when a plane flies overhead and our man Rickets flips.
"GAWD'M MUTHFUGG'N PLAAAAAANE MAKIN' THE BOOM BOOM, THE POW POW, MUTHFUGG'R KEEP IT DAYOWN, PEEPS TRYIN' T'SLEEP ROUND HEAH, POW POW BOOM"
By this point he's standing on the bench and shaking his fist at the villainous plane. I, on the other hand, have gone into "OH GOD IT'S A CRAZY" mode, which means I am staring at the purse in my lap like it's the most fascinating thing I have ever seen in my life and studiously avoiding making eye contact with anything. One part of my brain is going "Yip yip yip, my first crazy guy! :D" while the other is thinking "Ok, don't move, he can't see you if you don't move."
I don't know if that's actually true, crazy people not seeing you if you don't move. But it worked in Jurassic Park with dinosaurs, and frankly dinosaurs make as much sense to me as people who holler "POW POW BOOM MUTHFUGGA" at planes, so why not.
He settled down a bit after that and contented himself with rocking himself back and forth in little figure eights. I thought about discreetly getting up and joining all the other people who had backed away to a respectful distance, but I was afraid it would be obvious enough to draw his attention and while I was pretty sure I was really in no danger from Mr. Rickets or anything, I didn't exactly want him to, you know, acknowledge my presence or anything. So I just kind of sat there examining my fingernails until the bus showed and I had an excuse to tapdance up the stairs and into a seat where he almost sat next to me but didn't. Then he got off at the next stop, exactly three blocks away from Nicollet.
I would say, "Who does that? Who waits fifteen minutes for a bus to drive you three blocks?" but I think it's fairly well established that this man would be a very plausible candidate for exactly that sort of thing.
Good bye, Mr. Rickets, wherever you may bendily be. Don't take the 2 anymore while I'm riding it kthxbye :)
I have had my first Crazy Person on the Bus encounter! I feel like I really live here now!
I was waiting at the Nicollet stop for the 2 to come whisk me away to the light rail when this tall, lanky guy comes beboppin' across the street. Every step he took was a kind of sauntering, bendy, Gumby-with-rickets sort of lope, and I could not figure out for the life of me if he was doing it on purpose or if he just wasn't very good at walking for some reason. He was also wearing the fascinatingly original ensemble of a black sportcoat over bleach spotted overalls, which is not a fashion statement I have encountered before or since. I'm seated on one end of the bench, he sits down on the other. But whatever, he's just another odd guy waiting for the bus. So we wait. After another ten minutes a few more people have collected around the stop and nothing much is going on when a plane flies overhead and our man Rickets flips.
"GAWD'M MUTHFUGG'N PLAAAAAANE MAKIN' THE BOOM BOOM, THE POW POW, MUTHFUGG'R KEEP IT DAYOWN, PEEPS TRYIN' T'SLEEP ROUND HEAH, POW POW BOOM"
By this point he's standing on the bench and shaking his fist at the villainous plane. I, on the other hand, have gone into "OH GOD IT'S A CRAZY" mode, which means I am staring at the purse in my lap like it's the most fascinating thing I have ever seen in my life and studiously avoiding making eye contact with anything. One part of my brain is going "Yip yip yip, my first crazy guy! :D" while the other is thinking "Ok, don't move, he can't see you if you don't move."
I don't know if that's actually true, crazy people not seeing you if you don't move. But it worked in Jurassic Park with dinosaurs, and frankly dinosaurs make as much sense to me as people who holler "POW POW BOOM MUTHFUGGA" at planes, so why not.
He settled down a bit after that and contented himself with rocking himself back and forth in little figure eights. I thought about discreetly getting up and joining all the other people who had backed away to a respectful distance, but I was afraid it would be obvious enough to draw his attention and while I was pretty sure I was really in no danger from Mr. Rickets or anything, I didn't exactly want him to, you know, acknowledge my presence or anything. So I just kind of sat there examining my fingernails until the bus showed and I had an excuse to tapdance up the stairs and into a seat where he almost sat next to me but didn't. Then he got off at the next stop, exactly three blocks away from Nicollet.
I would say, "Who does that? Who waits fifteen minutes for a bus to drive you three blocks?" but I think it's fairly well established that this man would be a very plausible candidate for exactly that sort of thing.
Good bye, Mr. Rickets, wherever you may bendily be. Don't take the 2 anymore while I'm riding it kthxbye :)
posted by Betsi at 4:09 PM
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