He rumbled north for a change of scenery

Man, I walked to Ichiban to meet some internet goons for dinner, and it is white out there. It's not especially cold, but geez, I felt like I was stuck in some kind of wacky shaved-ice machine with snow globe aspirations. I could see clearly for maybe ten feet before it just became a whirly white blur. By the time I got home, which was maybe a ten minute walk, I was coated in a thick layer of white. It was like that cambells soup commercial they drag out every once in a while, where this snowman wanders into a house and starts eating soup and melting and you're like "oh no snowman suicide" but it turns out it's really a kid (in his pajamas?) hiding inside an exoskeleton of snow. It was like that. An exoskeleton of snow. What was that kid doing outside in his pajamas so long he turned into a snowman anyway? Questions.

Speaking of questions, yesterday at work Mary kicked this guy out because he was badgering the other customers. He disliked this course of action quite vehemently, and just as he reached the door, he whirled around, pointed one pudgy finger at us, and growled, "You're just lucky I'm not Rosa Parks and this isn't a bus!" then stormed out the door. After about thirty seconds of confused silence, Christina said, hesitantly, "I think...I think he was makin' one of them...metaphors?" It was just so amazingly befuddling. What was that even supposed to mean?